Copyright Infringement Goes "Boink!"

The Calvin Bumper Sticker. I wonder how it all happened.

I picture a guy... probably some punk with an undeclared major... known to all his friends as "Koot," or "Twinker" perhaps. He's sitting there in the student union building, not going to class, doodling in his Economics textbook. He fancies himself quite the artist while drawing little comic strips for the fraternity newsletter with inside jokes about the rival team's quarterback and Big Anthony's beer bong.

Then one day, Twinker "commissions" some schmoe at the college print shop to make a t-shirt with his latest masterpiece: an almost traced rendition of "that kid with the tiger." Only Twinker's version adds a completely un-copyrighted stream of urine pouring forth on top of the rival team's logo. Genius.

Well, Twinker's shirt is a big hit, so he and the schmoe decide to make some easy cash and mass produce it for everyone on campus. Of course, their key demographic aren't exactly known for doing laundry... so they found a different medium that required less hamper duty.
The Bumper Sticker.

Now, the tailgate parties are littered with Twinker's "work" and he's making enough money to afford being baked during a good third of the next decade. (Something that probably would have happened anyway.) Then, someone from the rival school sees the sticker and decides to rip off Twinker's rip off by making one with Twinker's school logo. Then someone else uses another school logo, and someone else uses ANOTHER school logo. Then someone else uses a car logo, and another someone else uses another car logo, political logos, band logos, and so on and so on. Next thing you know, the streets of our nation are overwhelmed with images of Bill Watterson's beloved character giving a golden shower to every logo under the sun. Logos which, by the way, are also copyrighted.

It's disgusting. But luckily it's just a fad, and will likely dwindle away soon if we just settle down and give it time... NO! We take ACTION! Which is exactly what someone did... with this.


You see, apparently, copyright infringement is okay as long as it's not grotesque. And what could be less grotesque than an unlicensed cartoon praying at the cross? I know. This!

YeeeeeHAW! Now we're talkin'!!

Of course, things are starting to seem sexist now, so how about this?

I find it funny that this looks more like Calvin in drag than it does Calvin's female counterpart, Susie Derkins because, at this point, these people don't even know what they're ripping off anymore.

But what's after this? Now there's a new problem. You're dealing with religion, which is one thing that most people take way more seriously than their car dealer. Next thing you know, we've got Calvin practicing a variety of other religions, which will in turn offend other people of other religions. What then? Calvin goes right back to pissin! Only this time, it's not on commercialism, but cultural diversity. A brand new holy war of sorts will break out on the back windows of clunkers everywhere! What was once a lovable optimistic comic-strip character that offered deep and philosophical views on life will be reduced to a slanderous tool of intolerance! Terrible!

And there's only one way it can be stopped.