Rise.

Some believe that after the success of "The Avengers" and other Marvel movies, that DC needs to step up their game and follow suit.

I just watched "The Dark Knight Rises" and say that if DC is making movies like this, they shouldn't care in the slightest what Marvel is doing.

My short and spoiler-free review: THAT was an amazing movie! Turn off your computer and go see it now!

Wal-Mart Paparazzi

So I'm sure most people have now heard of the website, PeopleOfWalMart.com. It's an amusing little site featuring Bigfoot style photos of what many refer to as "trashy" people shopping at the store that offers some of the best deals in the country.

I'm no better than the next man. The stuff on this site cracks me up. And there is also a lot of truth in the photos as I have a hard time thinking of where else I could find these type of people if I tried. You will always see them in droves at Wal-Mart. But why only Wal-Mart? Sure, the store offers almost everything needed to survive... but you'd think these same type of people would go SOMEWHERE else once in a while.

But anyways, my point is, while I can't help but chuckle at seeing such things as a guy shopping for instant mashed potatoes while wearing a homemade tank-top that reads, "I Luv Chi-Chis" I still can't help but wonder who the heck the people are that happen to obtain photographic evidence of these instances and then take the effort to post online.

Not long ago, I overheard a couple talking about how they took their camera and spent the evening roaming the aisles of their local Wal-Mart looking for someone that belonged on the site. To their disappointment, all they were able to find was a picture of a goth kid in a trenchcoat. Hardly the white-trash gold that site-goers are accustomed to. They then mentioned how they saw an obese man displaying a large amount of buttcrack as he bent over to look at baseball cards. They also felt the need to mention that in his other hand was a boquet of flowers. "Oh ma gaaaah! What's his story?" they asked. Unfortunately for them, the man stood up before they could sneak out their camera.

He was their white whale. And he escaped.

It was then that I discovered an even lower class of human than the misfits that make up the website. It's the malicious schmucks that post these unflattering photos for no other reason so that the world may join them in ridiculing some stranger.

I thought that the story I overheard had a rather happy ending in that some guy who's only crime was liking baseball cards and buying flowers for a loved one didn't have his ass pictured on the internet. What's his story? He probably had at least something meaningful to do with his time, as opposed to you sorry sacks.

All I can say is, Get a Hobby. I have several. I like drawing, watching the special features on DVD's, and blogging about people that go to Wal-Mart in search of butt crack.

Yoda and Me

Yoda: "The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun... this clone war has."

Me: "Yeah? Well... You started it. Jerk!"

Jim Cummings: Voice Actor Extraordinaire!

I found this old interview with one of my favorite... no, MY FAVORITE voice actor, Jim Cummings.

Mr. Cummings has performed the voices of Darkwing Duck, Zummi Gummi, Monterey Jack, Tigger, Pooh, Pete, the list goes on and on.

He recently played the voice of Ray in Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" and, in my opinion, deserves an Academy Award.

The Way It Is.

C.W. Post is the founder of both Post Cereal and Post, Texas. So DEAL WITH IT!

He, however, had nothing to do with actual posts. My guess is we stole that idea from the Indians.

Copyright Infringement Goes "Boink!"

The Calvin Bumper Sticker. I wonder how it all happened.

I picture a guy... probably some punk with an undeclared major... known to all his friends as "Koot," or "Twinker" perhaps. He's sitting there in the student union building, not going to class, doodling in his Economics textbook. He fancies himself quite the artist while drawing little comic strips for the fraternity newsletter with inside jokes about the rival team's quarterback and Big Anthony's beer bong.

Then one day, Twinker "commissions" some schmoe at the college print shop to make a t-shirt with his latest masterpiece: an almost traced rendition of "that kid with the tiger." Only Twinker's version adds a completely un-copyrighted stream of urine pouring forth on top of the rival team's logo. Genius.

Well, Twinker's shirt is a big hit, so he and the schmoe decide to make some easy cash and mass produce it for everyone on campus. Of course, their key demographic aren't exactly known for doing laundry... so they found a different medium that required less hamper duty.
The Bumper Sticker.

Now, the tailgate parties are littered with Twinker's "work" and he's making enough money to afford being baked during a good third of the next decade. (Something that probably would have happened anyway.) Then, someone from the rival school sees the sticker and decides to rip off Twinker's rip off by making one with Twinker's school logo. Then someone else uses another school logo, and someone else uses ANOTHER school logo. Then someone else uses a car logo, and another someone else uses another car logo, political logos, band logos, and so on and so on. Next thing you know, the streets of our nation are overwhelmed with images of Bill Watterson's beloved character giving a golden shower to every logo under the sun. Logos which, by the way, are also copyrighted.

It's disgusting. But luckily it's just a fad, and will likely dwindle away soon if we just settle down and give it time... NO! We take ACTION! Which is exactly what someone did... with this.


You see, apparently, copyright infringement is okay as long as it's not grotesque. And what could be less grotesque than an unlicensed cartoon praying at the cross? I know. This!

YeeeeeHAW! Now we're talkin'!!

Of course, things are starting to seem sexist now, so how about this?

I find it funny that this looks more like Calvin in drag than it does Calvin's female counterpart, Susie Derkins because, at this point, these people don't even know what they're ripping off anymore.

But what's after this? Now there's a new problem. You're dealing with religion, which is one thing that most people take way more seriously than their car dealer. Next thing you know, we've got Calvin practicing a variety of other religions, which will in turn offend other people of other religions. What then? Calvin goes right back to pissin! Only this time, it's not on commercialism, but cultural diversity. A brand new holy war of sorts will break out on the back windows of clunkers everywhere! What was once a lovable optimistic comic-strip character that offered deep and philosophical views on life will be reduced to a slanderous tool of intolerance! Terrible!

And there's only one way it can be stopped.

Why Is It Called That?

Years ago, I sat at work, taking part in one of our regular meetings designed to motivate all of us employees to do blaggidy-blahdy-blah-blah. The point of this particular meeting was to point out how we were all doing a good job, but we needed to do better. Just doing enough to succeed wasn't cutting it... we needed to blow everyone away with how AWESOME we were. This could be accomplished by taking a couple of extra minutes to give our work that extra bit of razzle-dazzle blah.

To illustrate their point, they came up with the credo, "Remarkable is Better than Good" which they incorporated into a Power Point presentation that was sure to make us all crap a load of SPECTACULAR directly into the back of our undergarments.

However, the powers that be didn't take the couple of extra minutes needed to make sure their Power Point was formatted to view properly on the big screen TV... thus displaying their credo as "arkable is Better than Goo".

Beautiful.

I turned to the guy sitting next to me and said, "Someday, man. Someday. I'm going to start a blog where I, like everyone else on the internet, can ramble about whatever I so desire... and I'm using THAT as the title."

To which the guy sitting next to me replied, "What's a blog?"

And that guy... was Bill Gates. True story.